What I’m about to tell you is what I’ve managed to piece together so far. I’ve asked around, but no one seems to be willing to tell me what actually happened. I can’t really blame them though.

Apparently, it all took place during the last day of the shoot for my music video. I remember Jesse popped into the studio. Then it got time to perform ‘Catch the Pig’, and we all know how that went down. After the accident, I blacked out and can’t remember anything. I thought I was taken to the hospital … Guess not. The picture ‘Two Guns’ found while cleaning up at the set, well, it speaks a thousand dirty, sick, gut-wrenchingly twisted words. 

I feel violated.

I shudder to think what the point of all this was. After seeing that other lady’s pictures, Ms. Bombfellonme or whatnot, a very disturbing image has emerged.

Now there was nothing wrong with Jesse being at the shoot. See, my manager Al has got a thing for bikes and he was getting one from Jesse. Al said he was working on something that would get him a really great deal. Jesse hung around all day and seemed to be a big fan. I couldn’t have been happier. Now, not so much.

Fortunately, it must’ve all been temporary ink, cause when I woke up in bed the next day, it was all gone. I remember wobbling in pain to the bathroom and looking in the mirror. Other than the “mark” I somehow got that night in Vegas, my skin was like a newborn.

But I can’t really wrap my head around it. Now, I’m not gonna play coy, I know I’m good-looking. But Jesse is married to perhaps the most beautiful woman alive for Pete’s sake! Mrs. Sandra sure is a mighty fine lady; a proper lady. Maybe Jesse was dropped on his head as a child, like I think Grampa must’ve been.

Of course, I can’t be sure of any of this and anything is possible I guess. I always did want to draw. But one should not dwell on the past.

In some lighter news, Al got his new bike. And at a 50% discount no less. I’m happy for him, could have happened to a greater guy.

Feel the free everybody. And remember, if you’re gonna catch the pig, wear pads or make sure Mr. biker-man is nowhere around.

/Goob